life is overwhelming... there is so much I'm worried about... so much unfixable... that I just don't know what to do anymore...  I keep trying and trying.  This isn't about giving up on life or anything.  I'm just overwhelmed... so overwhelmed.  I cry a lot... but seriously given how things are right now crying is understandable.  Even if we had the money for the bills, doesn't change my dad having cancer.

My oldest cat disappeared last saturday... most likely he left to die... that doesn't help any.

I feel so lonely... no one that i know has really been in this place before... so idk what to really do... and it just makes me feel so scared... and i'm never scared of anything...  and i wish i had someone who was more than just a friend to be here for me and tell me that it's ok....